Kids. They make me tired. Sometimes my head pounds, sometimes my ears ring. I always love my kids, but there are moments in life where a break is necessary. This story is an example of one of those days.
As a mother of three rowdy kids, periodically the bathroom is the only place where peace exists. For those of you, who don’t have kids; just trust me on this one. In fact, it is not unusual for me to sneak chocolate into the bathroom and just laugh to myself evilly while I indulge in my euphoric treat in a place where my crumb snatching kids cannot find me. Sly, I know. To new moms or people without children, this sounds sick. To experienced mothers, the idea is brilliant and I’m sure you have some tricks of your own.
This one day in particular, I put the two younger children down for a nap while the older child was watching television. My nerves were shot from breaking up an ungodly amount of fights, whining, and sibling torture. I could feel my roots turning greyer by the second. I needed peace and I needed it fast. I decided a nice hot shower would relieve some of the stress.
I stood in the shower, soaking up the steam, smelling the sweet aroma emulating from the shampoo and body wash, and was in no hurry to return to my reality of homework, housework, and daily duties. I would be lying if I said that my shower was quick and refreshing. The truth is, it was long and relieving, I relished in the moment.
After approximately an hour of breathing in the hot moisture, I decided I needed to get back to work. In truth, I had no choice, the heat left and I was holding onto the warmth as tight as I could as that was beginning to leave me too. I took everything the hot water heater had and I was begging for more. I had been pleading with God, “I know I gotta get back to work, but please, ten more minutes. Please.” God didn’t think it was a good idea because the water continued to cool down. It was time to face the rest of the day. I only hoped that the current relief in muscle tension would continue after the children were to wake.
I creatively wrapped a towel through and around my 28 inch long hair, (yes I count the inches, just in case I lose too much during stress, I have enough to paste on… Don’t judge me, your time will come!). I threw some clothing on, and took a deep breath. I needed to be ready for the children when they woke up.
I was too late. As soon as I opened the bathroom door, as soon as I left my safe haven, as soon as I checked into reality, I saw the most unusual sight I have ever seen in my entire life. I exited the bathroom and looked up. That’s right, I looked up. I have 11.5 foot ceilings. I literally looked up. As I looked up, I saw my child looking down and laughing. Again I am not joking. My daughter was 3 years old and looking down on me, just as gleefully as ever. My heart skipped three beats. Vomit rose into my throat. My hair on my neck stood on end. I stopped moving and stood in awe, flabbergasted, and speechless.
I looked at my older daughter who was 9 at the time and asked her, “How did she get up there?”
Her reply shocked me even more. “Mom, she climbed. She does it all the time!”
“What are you talking about; she does it all the time. I have never seen her do this before in my life!”
“That’s because she only does it when you are in the shower.”
My little three-year-old climbed my doorway, by spreading her legs and shimmying up the wall. She was standing both feet on opposite sides of the door way and her head was above it. Her little three-year-old legs were the only things keeping her up that high. The problem with the situation was not only was she high in the air, but the worst part was she plotted the whole thing.
I stood there shaking my head and not knowing what to do. They don’t make safety gates for the top of the door entrances. I can’t even reach the top of mine and here my daughter is, standing on it.
Immediately the tension came back to my poor body, but this time I was out of both hot water and chocolate. It was going to be a long day!