Being a Mom Is Not For Everyone
There are some people I hear talking that just take my breath away- Not in a good way either! Sure, being a mom has its perks, but there are times- and a lot of them, that being a mom is more than what you bargained for.
When I see women who so desperately want to have a baby, I watch their reaction to my kids, because I’m sure within a few minutes, my kids will do something that is considerably gross. So I wait… and listen. Soon enough I will hear the good ol’ shriek or gag that means my child has not let me down. I look at the woman very respectively and say, “Being a mom is not for everyone. It is probably one of the most disgusting jobs out there. Probably next to a garbage man or mortician.”
I love when I hear the age old, “My child would never do something that gross.”
I smiley sweetly and say, “Ha! That’s what you think!” I laugh and grab my disgusting kid with pride.
Today, I had to experience one of those less tactful moments. Fortunately nobody was here to witness in disgust.
My three-year-old pride and joy seems to be my late bloomer. Some say it’s because he is a boy, others say it’s because he is my baby. I don’t know what the reason is, but whatever it is, the truth remains the same. He was the last to potty-train, the last to walk, the last to do a lot of things. He got things done on his time and his time only. I don’t mind too much, he is my baby and it just means he wants to be my baby longer.
Today he had to use the bathroom. He is fully potty-trained, and has been for a long time. However, he doesn’t wipe himself when he goes number two, so he calls me into the bathroom and bends over. I typically pull my shirt over my face, hold my breath and wipe my son. He loves my reaction so he always giggles.
Somehow I lost tact since the whole “Mommy” thing happened, so as I walk in, I always ask, “Did you go a lot or a little?”
My son always answers quite graphically. Today my little man’s reply was:
“I went a caterpillar and three fish.”
I smiled at my boy, wiped him, flushed, and laughed like crazy.