Bone Chillin’ Barbie
The other day I posted about my torment in the car. If you haven’t read it, please feel free to look it up here: https://christinacooperunpublished.wordpress.com/2015/08/30/utterly-horrified/
Consequently, I’ve been slightly, well okay- MAJORLY paranoid when I’m driving in the car. It seems as if lately spiders are lurking around every corner. Today, after adjusting the radio station, playing with my makeup, and then finally putting the car in reverse, I rested my elbow on the center console. I was casually backing out of my driveway when I moved my arm to put the car into drive.
That’s when I felt it. I immediately had a minuscule moment of panic and then I let out a blood-curdling shriek. It was loud and obnoxious. This was definitely not my most graceful moment in my life. All of my professionalism, tact, and dignity flew out the window with the decibels that exited my mouth. I immediately yanked my elbow away from the console and grabbed it, rubbing it violently back and forth with my other hand.
I was mentally preparing myself to see the disgusting spider that groped me (Yes- I said groped. I totally felt violated). When I turned my head I jumped at the sight of it. At first glance, I saw a softball sized brown hairy spider curled up in the cup-holder of the console. I wanted to vomit. However, wisdom took over and my brain said to me, “Look again, idiot.” Fortunately, though I was in the middle of a heart attack, I decided to obey the brain and glance again. Sitting in the console of my car was a Barbie doll, bent in half, with a head full of ridiculously messy, brown hair. I had no choice but to laugh out loud at my foolishness. I swear, I think my car thinks I’m crazy!