Sleep. It’s a romantic feeling, really. One which I look forward to literally every night. A feeling of both bliss and genuine ecstasy. It’s a feeling I refuse to deny myself and one I allow myself to indulge in lustfully. I am neither graceful nor feminine, nor am I ashamed. Sometimes I allow myself to experience the sensation fully, periodically I slowly settle in. Occasionally throughout the day I long for it. Seldom, in the day, I have allowed myself to succumb to the desire.
I envelope myself in my blankets, my breathing becomes shallow and within moments I am in another land, one that only I have ever experienced. My own place and time. It doesn’t matter if my husband is near me or if he’s gone. My body allows me to appreciate this time away from reality. During this time, my hopes and dreams become truth. I am genuinely full of love, appreciation, desire, and hope. Admittedly, there are times when the worst possible situation occurs and I wake after running for my life. These times are exciting, intoxicating, and terrifying simultaneously. I don’t mind them. They allow me to experience the realization of my fears, stress, and worries.
Typically I long for more, though there are times when I awaken rested and content. Unfortunately, due to my strange sleep illness, I think I would be physically able to hibernate. I can relate to a bear better than the average human. However, this may mean that I am able to appreciate and enjoy the sensation better than the average person as well. If one has a disability such as blindness, wouldn’t they appreciate vision for a few hours per day and look forward to those moments with longing and appreciation for the upcoming event? I am to assume that is how I feel about sleep. I genuinely get excited to go to bed.
On that note, why deny myself any longer? I shall not. Yawn. Stretch. Good night and sleep tight.