Her dream was to become a writer. She would lay in bed every night, asking God to just give her that. She would make promises to him, bargaining, just to have her one dream come true. She knew the reality was slim, but she also craved this more than she craved anything else in the entire world.
The first time she realized she desired- no needed, to write for the rest of her life was when she was seven-years-old. She walked to the movie theater with her grandmother. When she got there she read the sign and thought to herself, “I can do this. I tell good stories.” From there on out it became her passion. She was determined.
As she opened the door, she took a deep breath. She knew this was a life-changing experience, but what if it was a complete and total fail? What if they hated her synopsis? Sure her books have been rejected several times, however, over the internet or a reply to a query letter is fairly simple to take. This was face-to-face. Could she handle the pressure? She reminded herself of the positive feedback she’s received about her stories over the years. People enjoyed reading her work, they asked for more chapters, shared the stories with their friends, and even purchased unedited copies. She may not be great, but she was good enough to make people smile.
As she approached the seemingly long, six foot table, she realized what she was about to do. Immediately her stomach became sick, her hands shaky, her words wouldn’t come to her mind. She suddenly decided that she wanted to leave. She was afraid to admit it, but she was running away from her dream. Terrified of failure. She was about to throw away her one and only chance.
The thoughts rummaged through her brain, “You’re not good enough. You can’t handle it. What makes you so special? Why do you believe you are one of a kind? How dare you throw away a good career on a whim? What’s wrong with you, are you crazy? You will never succeed. You have three kids are you insane? Grow up, dreams are for fairytales…”
Panic shot through her body and her legs felt like they were about to give out from under her. “I can do this.” She said. Then she shook her head. “No, I can’t afford to take this type of risk.” She walked away solemnly, cursing herself the entire time. She allowed one tear to drop down her cheek. Just one.
That was the day she threw her dream away. Now, with a heavy heart she deleted all of her work. She became hardened, calloused, and focused on studying skills to assist her with her career- technically her fallback plan. No matter how focused on her job she is, somewhere buried beneath her soul, possibly on a subconscious level, she has a story to tell. Her soul cradles her passion and the words flow from her mind during her dreams. Perhaps one day they will find themselves on paper. However, some dreams never come true.