Today, for the first time in my life, I got my little 4 speed, all-wheel drive, to go over 100 MPH. It took some leg work, but I did it.
Perhaps, I was in a hurry to get home to my sick kids.
Perhaps, I was eager to get home to celebrate my birthday this weekend.
Perhaps, I was hoping that a sexy cop would pull me over and then sweep me off my feet. In which case, I would go home and tell my husband that I changed my mind after being with him for 17 years.
I find the latter to be totally unlikely. First and foremost, how can you sweep someone off their feet when they have already been swept off their feet? You simply cannot sweep someone off the floor. That would be like mopping. If you look at my house, you would realize that mopping is not my thing. Additionally, for someone to be considered sexy to me, he could not be in uniform. Unlike most of my friends, I find men in uniforms strangely too uniform. Apparently, I get bored easily. Or maybe I have ADD and it takes a lot to keep my attention. I’m not sure.
Regardless, there is something freeing about getting a little 4 cylinder past 100 MPH. Yes, I said past. Sorry mom.
My husband has often wondered why I’ve never owned a car for longer than two years. Never, not once in my life have I owned a car longer than two years. I think I’m getting the picture regarding boredom/ADD. I have never crashed a car. I’m grateful for that. I have ruined at least five transmissions. I haven’t figured out why- either that, or I prefer to play dumb?
I’ve had strut towers break on me, brake lines tend to dissolve on me, and the worst one was the van that caught on fire underneath my seat. You should have seen me that day. My butt was smoking. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Seriously, I looked down between my legs to see smoke billowing from underneath my hind end. My face reddened trying to figure out what I ate that caused my body such distress. It was a relief to realize that the seat was on fire. Whew. That could have been embarrassing! Fire under there is tolerable. Your rear end smoking- totally not cool.
I am not sure my point to all of this. I do know that I’ve learned that I will never buy another four-cylinder vehicle again in my life. I’ve had this car for over a year and this was the first time she was over a hundred. It has never taken me this long. As I realize my birthday is coming soon, I hope this doesn’t mean I’m losing my nerve due to age. I highly doubt it- though that could be why it felt so exhilarating today. On the flip side, my daughter asked me if I had to get dentures now that I’m older. I had to silently remind myself how much she means to me. But that’s a story for a different day.