Humble, shy, or outright naive?


Image result for pics of frog in throat

My mouth runs a mile a minute. Talking is what I do, it’s what I know. Public speaking is enjoyable for me and I never have a problem doing it. I get paid to listen to people and give advice. Holding uncomfortable conversations is something I do daily.

Why-oh-why is it that as soon as people ask me to talk to them about my book, I completely and totally freeze up?

I get anxiety- my hands clam up, my mouth opens and nothing falls out of it and sometimes I even feel my heart racing. My head has so many things it could or “should” say, but I’ll be darned- the words simply won’t form.

I went to church one day and the pastor was sick. I was told after I arrived to church that I was requested to do the sermon. A full sermon! I got up and delivered. It was easy. I didn’t have to think about it, I didn’t have to study, I just did it.

I do that three times a week for group therapy. I do that three days a week teaching college students different chapters. The point is I DO IT CONSTANTLY.

Since that is the case, why in the world when people ask me about my book I am speechless? This is a problem I have never experienced before. I don’t feel like it’s panic. I don’t feel like it’s fear. I just blatantly have nothing to say.

The conversation often looks like this:

Them: “Christina, I didn’t know you wrote a book! What is it about?”

Me: “Uhh… well… hmm…” My head is screaming. My friend’s words echo through my ears, ‘you have to remember a ten second pitch’. NOTHING COMES OUT! It’s blank. Nothing. Empty. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

I can’t even fake it. Nothing comes out. I grin and shrug. I am not sure if it’s anxiety, if it’s embarrassing to me to talk about it, or if I am so blatantly naïve- maybe I have no clue as to what I write about!

I am terrible at marketing and my dreams would happen much faster if I could just speak about my writing. Instead, I walk around with the proverbial frog in my throat and a grin on my face. Sigh.