She solemnly drives down the road. Her heart pained with what she is about to do.
She feels uneasy, guilty, and somewhat ashamed, though she knows it is necessary. She’s definitely not in a hurry. She observes the trees, watches people pass by, and swallows the lump in her throat. She doesn’t want them to see her cry. She purposefully rolls down the window and inhales the damp air. She is mindful of the smell, but it only comforts her a little.
She pulls up to the brick building and slowly stops her car. She knows this is it, this is good-bye. No matter how badly she wants to, no matter how hard she tries, she knows that there is no way to get them back. It’s time. A time that she didn’t want to come, but she knew it was inevitable. Life is selfish that way. You live, you die, and there’s nothing you can do about it. She felt her bottom lip tremble slightly. She bit it enough to make it stop.
She took a deep breath. The door slammed shut and she sat there watching, staring. She realized she wasn’t breathing, so she purposefully pulled in more of the moist, cool air. At this time, she can no longer hold it together. The tears drop down her face, first one and then another. Soon her eyes flooded over and her entire face was wet. She couldn’t help it, she just wanted them back in her arms, where they are safe.
The phone rings and it startles her.
“Hello?” She answered, wiping her face with the sleeve of her jacket.
“How are you doing?” He asked. She felt grateful that he understood her so well.
“Not good.” She answered honestly. “I don’t know how I can deal with this.” She added, softly.
“You’re going to be okay. The first day of school is hard for every mom…”