I felt a tinge of guilt flood through my body as I was looking at the mess I made of things.
I sat on the couch, tears streaming down my cheeks. My pajamas laying soft against my skin as I wrapped myself into a warm blanket. I hugged my knees tightly as I contemplated what my next move would be.
I took a deep breath, surrendering to the sound of my heart thumping against my chest. It kept a perfect pace, never screwing up- the way I did.
I wanted to confess my guilt, but my shame was so deep. I wanted to tell someone what I have done, but my mouth couldn’t form the words.
I felt like a loser, like I had no chance at success- no matter how hard I tried.
I had goals, dreams, hope and they all lay broken on the floor, shattered to pieces far beyond repair. Vanished.
I felt so angry at myself. Sorrow for all of my mistakes. I knew my kids would lose faith in me, never could they trust me again. I ruined everything…
“Look- It was a candy bar. People break diets from time-to-time. You’re beautiful!”
That’s when I took another bite.